I want but I can not

stories01.06.2018

You throw your head back, start to swallow snot …
Maybe it’s better to swallow white wine? Just the aftertaste reminds snot.
But no. The wine was drunk yesterday. Only snot remained today.
What if you want to, but you can not?
Lying in three blouses, and already “does not care”. If only the next day would begin. But,
the next day does not begin.
Doubts and torments begin. So you want to remove the crappy shoe covers and run away from
hospital.
But we must wait. Otherwise, then even more expensive will do. And life goes on …
In swallowing snot and inability to leave.
To leave from лора to the gynecologist or in a cold bed. Which is essentially the same thing.

A PHOTO

And, you can, after all, do not want to. Then it’s easier to live. All or nothing will be given. And we must accept this,
as the most valuable!
And the food is like a dinner before the execution in a brothel. Still everyone looks, but it is necessary to receive
pleasure, because then it will not be.

A boy with a charming strabismus for 9 years. He came close to me and read in my ear
poem of his own work. Then he walked away, covered his mouth to the eyes with a piece of paper, but
it was evident that he was smiling pretty and coquettishly.
And the food seems either too hot or cold, but very, very delicious.
And I include a full tray to throw out.
I want but I can not…
When I saw in the movies that you are like two drops of water like a killer maniac, stopped you
write at all …
Maybe for the better!
I want you, but I can not.
Men discussing meat, its regularity and necessity, seem so
identical … Only after stripping them mentally, you can watch without listening to the meat. Their eyes
impregnated with beer and bacon, melted lard, draining on women sitting next to each other.

A PHOTO

I want to send them all to the slaughter, then sell them to the market, there will be more benefit.
The poverty strategy is to take away sugar from the cafe, after paying for
him. You can proudly call it “collecting”.
I want to not want sugar!

Knees under the table are so tense, I want to go galloping through them!
– Whose gallop?
“Yours?”
– No I can not…
If you dine with three unfamiliar men at once, you want to immediately get into the shelter,
which really is not, it does not exist!
And there is an empty bottom of the plate, it is fat, unclean, and you are not full! How to be?
Just relax and go to work. Now people will come who will eat me
eyes and all the fibers of the uneducated drawing of the soul.
Only the Squint-Eyed Boy warms.

On my back for a long time no one stroked a hand with his lips. And this means – I’m a solid lump
nerves, ready for anything!
But, the boy will not be sick, will not get influenza in the school, and again come to the class.
And this means there will be something fresh, clean and needing me. It’s so strange when all these
children are hung on my carcass, go away without anyone back to the lor-gynecologist-in-the-cold-
bed. Or to have dinner with three men downstairs. What, in effect, is one thing
same.
So, that … It remains to dream of dreams, beautiful dreams. Where you can fly and not think about anything,
nothing to want, but only to fly-fly-fly.

A PHOTO